For my dad!

Sorrow comes like ocean waves

Sorrow comes like ocean waves. It swells up and as one comes crashing in the next is about to unfold…. slowly eroding the edges of my soul.

I sit at the edge and wait for the waves arrival, knowing fully that the next wave could pull me under.

At this very moment I feel NOTHING…  just the emptiness that runs deeper then my dreams could have even imagined.

I just want to be filled with anything….

Just let me drown in my sorrows, just let me cry a million tears to fill an ocean, let that ocean be my comfort.

Let the waves come, let them surround me – let them fill me. 

Let them take me back to the first time…

Take me back to the first time you held my hand and we walked the beach…

                         Together hand in hand….

This is for you Dad!

November 11, 2007, I wrote this poem…..  I received a phone call the 10th informing me that my dad had passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack…  he was only 54 years old.  

My relationship with my father was a very difficult one… one that I can honestly say, had grown leaps and bounds in the last 6 years….  we had a saying,

“You just don’t know what this means to me!” 

Each time we said that, we did know how much we were truly in love with knowing each other and not taking advantage of what we had…. 

Life is way too short…..  don’t let your love ones slip away without expressing how much you do love them…  Mend those fences before it is too late….

God Blessed me with my relationship with my dad…. we learned to forgive and love unconditionally… who he was, it no longer mattered…. it’s what he left in my heart that will live on forever……

No “what if’s” for me… or “I should have”…. I did!!  He did!!!  and together we did!!  We made a wonderful father/daughter relationship that grew beyond our own beliefs!  I can not be filled with sorrow no longer…. I now rejoice in the love that we had and I smile knowing that I will see him again!

Thank you Dad for loving me!  You just don’t know how much this has meant to me!

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About tinat

I am a Polymer Clay Bead Artist. I have been beading for almost 4 years. Polymer Clay is just a wonderful art medium that there just seems to have NO end to what a person can do!
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5 Responses to For my dad!

  1. Chris says:

    {{{Tina}}}! Beautiful poem!

    Love ya!
    Chris

  2. Leah says:

    Wow Tina. what a touching poem. You are talented in many ways, Sister.
    You have my deepest sympathy for your loss.
    (((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

    Leah

  3. tinat says:

    Thank you my dear and wonderful “sisters” !!!
    (You really are just the best!!)

    My dad was an avid beach comber, He loved, LOVED, to find sharks teeth… anyone who spent any time with him would have to see his collections of teeth. (I am guessing that he’s found thousands of them!)
    The day after his funeral, Rob, I , and our children went to his favorite beach… LOVE that place! But we were only there about an hour because it started to rain. In the short period that we were there, I walked away with 10 (+) sharks teeth, and my husband 6… my kids played in the ocean too much to find any!! LOL!! I just knew that my dad was smiling down on us and enjoying the walk on the beach with me…….
    How can you not smile and know, without a doubt, that he is at peace, and where he needed to be! What a Blessing he had became to me… someone I thought that I would never have in my life, and how involved he became….. Forgiveness is a powerful thing, it can lead you to places you never even dreamed!! I am so thankful that the little time I had to get to know him, I DID get to know him and not spending that time being mad at him or disliking him for the “father” I wanted him to be…. just accepting him for who he had become, who he was, and the love he had for me and my family really had became enough for me! ….. man, I really am going to miss him……

    Thank you guys for being on the journey with me! Love ya!!

  4. Jeanne Rhea says:

    Oh, Tina I am so sorry for your loss, but I know that you are on the road to accepting losing him. So young! See that just shows us that we never, ever know and it is best to live every day as if nothing is for sure. Your poem is so touching and beautiful and I’m certain your father was with you on the beach and he will always be in your heart wherever you may be.
    (((((Big hug)))))
    Jeanne

  5. tinat says:

    Jeanne, thank you so much for the touching words… I really have had a rough week this past week… so, your words came at a time in need.

    I too am so sorry for your loss – we just never know what is around the next corner! Life is just too short!

    Thank you again for bringing me a little peace in a time that I needed it!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

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